Driving on the Autobahn is surprisingly relaxing. Simply put the pedal down as far as it goes and stay out of the way. Meanwhile you have forests of tall trees smacking of skewered broccoli to enjoy. I got the van up to 155 kilometers per hour. That’s as fast it can go. It drives behind the beat.
While Greg took the final leg of the tour, I drank all the leftover beer that had been in the van for weeks. It made for an especially grueling load-in at West Berlin, located on the fourth floor of a pisserific squat. The soundman was checking the reverberated mics with “Pryzbylweskiii,” “Jimmy McNultyyy,” and “Ooommaaaarrr,” proving that, like love and horrible cover bands, The Wire is a universal language.
It was the last show of the tour. Our friend Al Burien was there, and a few other people. It was a Sunday. Germany had elected a conservative knob into office on this day and Berlin was bummed. Most of them stayed home and obeyed their sadness. One of them went out and ate the leftover Lebanese food that Mark the promoter was gracious enough to provide.
When I was 16 I played in an ungoogleable band called The Somaheads. For a brief period a fellow named John Donald was in the band. We played a show in a basement and then he moved on. Before his departure he gave me a cassette full of rare Misfits (including the then-unheard 7” version of “Cough/Cool”) that I still own.
John now lives in Berlin and fronts Human Elephant, the other band on the bill. It was great to see John again after close to twenty years. He looks good and now dons a German accent, which limbos down to a baritone when he sings. Human Elephant played loose, confident art rock. Dark orange music projected against a cute, thick Mustang bass and a tambourine chorus of “Terrorist! Heroin!” Thank you, Human Elephant.
The Bitter Tears played the last show of the tour. It was the anticlimax that it is supposed to be. Kinda like this post. The Berliners were very kind though and more than one described the set as a “fairytale.” Thank you, Berlin.
The tour is over! Despite the fact that we are returning home as paupers, it was a success in many ways. A big thanks to Magnolia Electric Co., Simmo, and all the bookers that made sure we were treated well. Thank you to everyone who fed us and put us up on couches, mattresses, and floors. The kindness of strangers in letting a motley mess of make-up caked Americans into their homes is extraordinary. Also, thanks to everyone who has read this.
I like touring and I like writing this blog. I will continue doing both.
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